paperweight-jellyfish:

me: I’m gonna listen to something other than lemon demon!

one weird tip: I’M OFFERING TO YOU A BUSINESS PROPOSAL MY NEW WEIGHT LOSS METHODS ARE AT YOUR DISPOSAL FOR PENNIES A DAY GET YOUR COLLEGE DIPLOMA AND MIRACLE PILLS FOUND TO CURE MELANOMA SO TELL ME IF YOU ARE A SMALL BUSINESS OWNER BECAUSE I AM OFFERING FREE INK AND TONER I’VE GOT OXYCODONE WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION AND REPLICA WATCHES WITH CUSTOM INSCRIPTIONS MY NAME IS WANITA, I’M YOUNG AND I’M LONELY FOR 100 DOLLARS IN USD ONLY GET DISCOUNT LEVITRA AND DISCOUNT CIALIS I’M HERE IN NIGERIA ALONE IN MY PALACE I NEED YOU TO SAVE ME, I HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY THE GOVERNMENT HATES ME BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE ME I’M DESPERATE AND WEALTHY, I’M SINGLE AND CHRISTIAN YOU’RE ALL I HAVE LEFT AND I PRAY THAT YOU’LL LISTEN

me: yes of course sir heres my credit card number and all my free time