🌻

v1als:

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

I was at a pub quiz on Tuesday and for a laugh Acton and I were showing one of our friends pictures of key Soviet figures when they were younger and asking her if she thought they were hot. of course the first person we tried this with was Stalin, and after some squinting and tense moments wondering if we’d been caught and our ruse cruise ended, she conceded that yes, he was pretty decent looking.

well naturally Acton and I started laughing like a pair of hyenas and our friend was like “what? what’s so funny?” and then turned to me and said “oh shit, is that you?” like. she actually thought that this picture of young Josef Stalin was me. so naturally Acton and I just started howling and could not compose ourselves, made all the worse by her getting increasingly more convinced of the fact: “it is you, isn’t it? wait, is it? let me see again. it is! no, wait, turn to the side” [here she compared the profile pic of Stalin and I] “wait, you have different noses. it’s not you. is it? it is you. you’re laughing, it is. no, wait, let me see again–”

eventually we put her out of her misery and told her it was, in fact, Josef Stalin, and not me, and she was like “I knew it!” even though she apparently did not know it, and then my name for the rest of the night was Josef*. this is… probably a nickname that is not going to die. a bonus: she said Trotsky “needs some proper frames for his glasses first of all” and Beria “looks like someone with syphilis”.

*the funny thing about this was that she was acting like she knew nothing at all about Russia ever, but when she first called me this as she went to the bathroom she did not pronounce it “Joseph”, nay, but rather “Iosif”, which is… not normal for someone from here with no background in Russian history. then when we went back to her place she had a bunch of Soviet-era posters that she let us take a bunch of. so [squints]