car commercials: Smooth. *over footage of it driving on a mountain road* Luxurious. Powerful. Godlike. This Car Is The Secret To Your Happiness. Buy It And Transcend Human Emotion
jewel commercials: WOW! REAL PRIME 45-CARAT STERLING SILVER WITH PEARLS FORGED IN ATLANTIS! CALL NOW TO BUY IT FOR OOOOONLY $100!!! HALF OFF!!!!!!! LIMITED EDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSTANT CLASS FOR CHEAP CHEAP PRICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
waterpark commercials: Come for a weekend of family enjoyment! 🙂 Splash! Bash! Laugh! :)) Teens and adults alike agree that this park is fun for all ages! *wolf noise* You’ll come visit! You’ll come visit! You’ll come visit!
Experiencing brutal cold for a period of time every year keeps you humble
That’s why Californians are like that
Time to plastic over the windows for the season.
????? Why??????????
You put the plastic on the windows to stop the heat from leaking out of your house from between the panes, through the glass itself, and where the window is attatched to the rest of the house. This does make a drastic difference in the temeprature of your house and the amount of gas/electricity needed to keep it warm.
Some other Winter Things:
If you think there’s going to be an exceptionally deep freeze, you open up all the cabinets in the house to warm the air in there and keep the pipes from freezing/bursting.
If you’re going to be away for a while in winter, it’s adviseable to turn your water off to avoid the same.
Putting an electric Blanket between your topcover and bedsheet and pre-heating your bed for half an hour so you don’t get a chill going to bed.
Applying literal vasaline to your lips if you’re going to be in the cold for an extended time (more than 10-20 min, depending on latitude), becuase chapstick won’t cut it and your lips will split and bleed and HURT
Doing the same to your nose
Your tears go from liquid to gooey trying to produce a similar protection for your eyes. You can also feel the water freeze on your eyes if you step directly out into the cold.
Also since I know you’re a socal person- in the far north you can get as little as eight hours of daylight. 7AM to 3 PM. You need to by the most obnoxiously bright light possible and sit beside it or you will actually literally develop psychosis in some cases. It’s 4:30 and you need to take the dog out? it’s pitch black out.
Everything is covered in ice, which will alternately cause you to slip and break something, burn, or actually tear off your skin.
Christmas and the pressure to be jolly is much stronger in places with Winter. Get your Holly Jolly On In this Frozen Black Hellscape!!! It’s why people go real bananas on the holiday lights. they’re trying to stave off the void.
can confirm, the fancy reindeer and nativity sets the neighbors are sporting are an attempt to drive back the monochrome blahs of winter and are sometimes the only hint of color in a world of white, black and greys
Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.
did you do the thing with lying unconscious for 8 hours
yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes
“there’s that penny again, pa!”
shout out to what is, in my humble opinion, my only good post
PTA archive 