This here is me homunculus flesh puppet that me soul will transfer to in
the event of me death. It’s got no soul insider it right now, so we
keep it in a constant state a euphoria ter keep it from massacrin’ me
customers.
Okay, anyone who is playing the new Pokémon games, I’m kind of at a loss for words… I’m just a casual more or less, I didn’t play any of these old games when I was younger. I did play X/Y and Sun/Moon some, but never beat either one. So here I am now, addicted immediately.
I named my adorable little critter bff Rey and was lucky that it was indeed a girl! I looked it up and apparently the chances of getting a female (let alone on first try) are obnoxiously low.
OH MY GOD HOW CUTE IS THIS. So I use her all the time. Everywhere. She’s like… one hitting everything and barely getting hurt from enemy attacks. I’m like… is this normal? She is so strong and brave and sturdy! She’s level 25 and I have the ability to “judge” Pokémon now. I’m curious how this little girl fares…
WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!?! Does everyone’s starter Pokémon have stats like this? Am I in some weird dream land?!?! I feel like this game is super easy because of this beast, if I had the other game would Pikachu have stats like this? This is unreal. I wish my Chespin in Y had these stats, I struggled a lot with that damn thing.
OP got a perfect IV female eevee on their first try, reblog for luck
I can literally feel the walls of reality breaking down around me the longer this video plays.
We cannot doubt the effectiveness of Holger’s Device, or the mathematical beauty of the music itself; we’ve seen it in action against the forbidden practices too many times to deny it. But the question no one wishes to ask is – is the incantation itself black magic? The boxes are priceless, but what’s inside?
so much of bethesdas fallout lore is childish and blunt that it’s hard to give them the benefit of the doubt when weighing interpretations & conclusions
half the time when someone proposes a really cool theory my first thought is “that’s too clever and good for bethesda softworks to have possibly done it intentionally”
elder scrolls lore from oblivion onward is motivated by talking points popular among fans in a way that feels kind of performative and bad. but im into the general way that the community helps eachother flesh out a coherent setting from many disparate details.
skyrim has some neat deep-dive metaphysical lore like morrowind but subtler and vaguer and i think it should get a bit more credit for that stuff than it does.
theres like 7 really clever things in fallout 4 that make me want to believe it could be That Deep but sooo much vital shit was phoned in as if they were terrified to give any supporting details at all… inconsistencies arent the end of the world just give me flavor you boring fucks. why do the gunners exist todd
ok like heres one off the top of my head: mama murphy is absolutely deliberately implied to be the fo2 protag and iirc she seals it by subtly quoting an obscure detail about the chosen one from fnv. thats so FUCKING good are you kidding me!!!
tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit
this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why
“tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious
the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd
huffy “i don’t care”
nitpicking the logistics of something impossible
horrible mental image
ends very angrily
The planets, in order of distance from the sun, ranked by fuckability:
Mercury: 3/10 – it’s too small, metallic, and hot, it’s just weird. Like trying to fuck a shitty marble that’s also on fire. What would you even do?
Venus: 8/10 – definitely gets a boost from being the Roman goddess of love, but it’s been a while since anyone worshipped her, so that’s fading. More importantly, Venus is beautifully bright in the skies of Earth – the only planet that’s visibly fuckable to the naked eye (with the possible exception of Mars). The murder-trifecta of acid, heat, and pressure in its atmosphere is pretty hot too, to be honest, in a yandere kind of way.
Earth: 7/10 – this may be an unpopular opinion but Earth is pretty fuckable. Definitely soft, comfortably warm, and caring, it’s got wholesome MILF energy that the rest of the solar system really lacks. The oceans and clouds suggest irresistible curves, and it’s got a juicy magnetic field, our first so far. However, the lack of novelty hurts a bit.
Mars: 4/10 – Mars is just boring: no magnetic field, shitty little rivulets of freezing brine, a pathetic, dusty little atmosphere. This is why terraforming the planet is so popular in both fiction and reality: it’s a transformation fetish writ large, and one I cannot agree more with. Terraformed Mars (to the point of human habitability outside of enclosed spaces) would get an 8/10 – like Earth’s hotter, more exciting younger sibling.
Jupiter: 10/10 – @seriousjones is right, it’s the most fuckable planet. Jupiter is your daddy, my daddy, the whole solar system’s daddy. The only reason Earth is as habitable as it is and fuck, I’m so grateful, but oh no! I have no money, whatever can I do to repay it?
Saturn: 9/10 – @seriousjones is wrong, the rings are pretty hot, but a lot of this comes from the stark beauty of the planet itself. Obviously you don’t fuck them, but you appreciate their abrasive yet tender embrace while you fuck Saturn itself. Or rather Saturn fucks you – it’s still big enough to dominate anyone but Jupiter, and you can just tell from that pale yellow colorscheme that it hold itself very highly – certainly higher than a little ant like you, so you’d better do exactly what it says. Also Titan is all slimy and that’s kinda hot.
Uranus: 6.9/10 – nice.
Neptune: 5/10 – not particularly unfuckable, but doesn’t really have anything special going for it. A bit too cold, kind of a nice atmosphere but nothing too special, relatively boring moons. I feel bad because we really don’t know that much about Neptune and there could be eminently fuckable things about it that we’re yet to discover. That air of mystery actually brings it up to the 5, but we unfortunately can’t assume anything more.
Special mentions:
Dwarf Planets: 1/10 – I’m counting Ceres, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, Eris, and any others I don’t know of here. First of all, they’re not planets, so how are they going to rank on a planetary fuckability scale? Poorly, that’s how. Small, vacuum, dust and ice, once you’ve fucked one you’ve fucked them all. Not interesting enough. Now I could rank each of them individually on an adjusted dwarf planet fuckability scale, but I don’t have time – let me just say that Ceres is the hottest.
Sol: 2/10 – the sun is actually very fuckable and would probably be a 9/10 it it weren’t so damn hot. It’s not a manageable, sexy heat like Venus, it just instantly incinerates any part of you that gets within kilometers. Good luck fucking that.
Hypothetical Planet Nine: ~7/10 – this is tough because we know very little about the planet, and maybe aren’t even sure it exists? However, that mystery is still pretty hot, and if it does exist it likely has a sexy, troubled past, possibly being ejected from the inner solar system or captured from another star. If we ever learn more about the planet I’ll revise this entry.
Note: the scale has been normalized so that the most fuckable and least fuckable things lie at 10/10 and 1/10 respectively; it does not intend to be an objective scale of fuckability. It’s quite possible that there are yet more fuckable exoplanets out there.
headcanon that taako is technically the older twin but lup has referred to him as her little brother so many times that now he’s starting to doubt his own existence and wonder if she really is older than him
PTA archive 