alithographica:

botanyshitposts:

i arrive at the gay bar in full butch getup and i look like super hot like trust me and i start buying chocolate milk for the femmes at the bar…..between my striking good looks and my generosity concerning tasteful dairy products i have impressed them greatly and after an hour of chatting I make my move. i reach into my pocket and remove a large, gorgeous lichen affixed to a piece of bark from its protective herbarium packet that I have concealed in my pants pocket. “it’s a symbiotic relationship between a fungus and an algae,” i begin,

You say shitpost but I swear to god I would pick up the U-haul on our way home from the bar don’t try me

voiddenizen:

voiddenizen:

i get home from work and start crying bc my cat is so FLUFFY and CHUNKY! i love her so much she’s so good

me: callie sweetie love of my life reason i keep living i got you a PRESENT

callie, my beautiful, intelligent, fundamentally perfect cat, who likes to torment me: >:/

me, sobbing: it’s a bag

callie: