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Kids these days with their “Ipads” and “Fortnite”. Back in my day, my friend and I would go out back on the trampoline and throw enormous rubber balls at each others heads at a high velocity while pretending to be wizards or something. We called it “Evil Zelda” and we were happy.
WE DROPKICKED THIS BITCH TOWARDS EACH OTHER AT FIFTY MPH AND ATTEMPTED TO USE IT AS A SPRINGBOARD GOING INCHES FROM BREAKING OUR NECKS AND THE COLD EMBRACE OF DEATH AND WE WERE CONTENT DAMMIT
the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap
a girl i know told me how a guy she knows once moved out from his parents, ate nothing but fries and meatballs for HALF A YEAR, and got scurvy. imagine the doctor’s face when this guy shows up with like his gums bleeding and the doc has to fucking say DUDE…. THATS SCURVY…. in this day and age
this is turning into a “how a person i know got scurvy” thread and im so here for this, please share your scurvy stories if you have any
the other day someone posted pics from the reddit page r/zerocarbs where these fools only ate meat and 0 vegetables or fruits and all the posts were about various symptoms of scurvy. i died when one literally read ‘i don’t want to start the vitamin C debate again but’
THE VITAMIN C DEBATE
My mother told me all about scurvy when I was five and trying to resist eating pumpkin and let me tell you it’s been 35 years and I still get nervous if I go for two days without eating a green vegetable.
I told my own little picky eater about scurvy, rickets etc and now one of her most frequently requested lunch items is baby spinach, closely followed by carrots.
I’m not saying everyone should mildly traumatize their children to make them understand that vegetables are vital to ongoing possession of your teeth and organs, but.. no, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Go for it.
some guys i used to know went on a boys only road trip. they decided they were only going to eat things they could cook on the engine block of the car.
two of them got scurvy. one of them drank so much jagermeister + red bull that he temporarily lost the ability to see in colour.
I just realized that Clark Kent probably works at the Daily Planet because it means he and his super-senses are planted right in the middle of a bunch of investigative journalists all day long. He probably knows more about Metropolis’ corruption and abuses of power than anyone else in the world, just by virtue of existing in the Daily Planet’s vicinity.
I imagine also that he works there for the reverse reason. Think about all the things he knows about the people in positions of power in the city that Really Should be made known to the public, but he can’t figure out a way to legitimately excuse having that knowledge? Well, all he has to do is drop a hint of a thread in the lap of someone like Lois Lane and his coworkers and friends will be on it like bloodhounds, with a firm air of legitimacy that he himself would never, ever have. Because honestly? Clark Kent probably knows that “I heard about it with my magic alien hearing” isn’t and SHOULDN’T be admissible in a court of law or public opinion. But aiming some good old fashioned investigative journalists in the most competitive news organisation in the city at it? Perfectly legitimate.
Villain: “Hah! What are you going to do, punch me for tax evasion? Lock me up for conspiracy? With what court-admissible evidence? Admit it Superman, there’s nothing you can do here.”
Superman: “Guess not.”
Later, Clark Kent at the Daily Planet watching his colleagues work: “My god, they’re like bureaucratic piranhas. They went through his entire IRS filings for the last eight quarters in thirty minutes flat.”
PTA archive 